I feel like abortions should bother me more
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
