HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
