Tell her she can't have a vagina
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
