At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
we should paint friendship bongs
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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