Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
