Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
