But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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