Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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