It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
