can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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