never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
