all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
