Who wears a wallet chain?!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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