Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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