...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
