guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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