it was like his penis was on wheels.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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