i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
