i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
BRING THE BAGELS
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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