a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
