Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Say something about gay babies.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
