well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
