PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
