He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
