um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize