Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
