I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
