Apparently you make a good broom.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
