dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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