mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
