He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
