I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
