I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
