you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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