i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
