I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
