walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
