Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
