What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
