Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
worst night to have a conscience
Dignity is for republicans.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize