alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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