So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
