imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
