Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
