the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
