Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
