I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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