no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
