When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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