I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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