Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
