I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
