If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
