The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
