I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You've changed since you got that strap on
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
