Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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