Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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