i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
