He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
