; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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