Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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