it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
