I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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