you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
