Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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