i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
