Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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