i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
