Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
